Guides
How speed dating works.
What happens on the night, how long it takes, what it costs, and how you find out who liked you.
Speed dating is an organised night where single people meet in a run of short conversations, usually four or five minutes each. When the host calls time, one side of the room moves along a seat. Afterwards you say who you would like to see again, and the host puts you in touch with anyone who said the same about you.
The format is older than the dating apps it is now an answer to. The first night was run in Los Angeles in 1998, and the idea has hardly changed since: a room, a bell, and a few minutes with each person. What has changed is how many people are looking for it. In the UK, searches for dating events have roughly tripled in five years.
If you have never been, this is what to expect. Poise lists speed dating and singles nights by city, with the date, the venue and the price of each, so once you know how a night runs you can pick one.
What happens at a speed dating night?
You meet everyone in the room one at a time, for a few minutes each. The host runs the whole thing, so all you have to do is turn up and talk.
- You book. Places are booked in advance. Most hosts set a night by age, so the room is made up of people of roughly your own.
- You arrive. The host checks you in and gives you a name badge, and a card or a link for keeping note of who you met. There is usually time for a drink at the bar first.
- The dates begin. You sit across from one person and talk until the host calls time. Then one side of the room moves along a seat, and you start again.
- There is a break. Most nights stop halfway for a drink, which is often where the easiest conversations happen.
- You choose. At the end you note who you would like to see again, and hand that to the host.
Nobody is put on the spot. There is no standing up and no microphone, and nothing is said on the night about who chose whom.
How long does speed dating last?
A night of speed dating usually lasts about two hours. Each date is four or five minutes, and a night holds between ten and twenty of them, with a break in the middle.
Four minutes sounds short, and it is meant to be. It is long enough to know whether you would like a second conversation, and short enough that a poor match costs you nothing. The listing gives the time the night starts, and most give the time it ends.
How do you find out who liked you?
The host tells you, most often the day after. When the dates are over you tell the host who you would like to see again, on your card or on the host's site.
If someone you chose also chose you, that is a match, and the host sends each of you the other's details. A choice that was not returned is never passed on. Nobody learns that they were turned down, and nobody learns that you were.
How much does speed dating cost?
As of 27 September 2026, nights listed on Poise cost between £15 and £25. The host sets the price, and you pay the host when you book.
A ticket covers the whole night, and some hosts include a drink. On Poise the price is printed on every listing before you open it, so you can compare nights without clicking through each one.
Can you go speed dating alone?
Yes, and most people do. Speed dating is built for people who arrive on their own: the host seats you, starts the conversations and moves you along, so there is never a moment where you have to walk up to a stranger.
That is the main difference from a singles night in a bar, where starting a conversation is up to you. If you would rather not go alone, some hosts let you book with a friend, and seat you apart once the dates begin. Each listing on Poise says who the night is for, so you can pick a room you will be at ease in.
What should you wear to speed dating?
Wear what you would for a drink with a friend in a bar you like: comfortable, and a little smarter than every day.
Hosts rarely set a dress code, and say so on the listing when they do. You will be sitting down and talking for two hours, so choose something you do not have to think about.
Is speed dating worth it?
It is worth it if you want to meet a number of single people in one evening, face to face. Whether you meet someone you want to see again is down to who is in the room, and no host can promise that.
What speed dating does that an app cannot is put you in front of a dozen or more people who each chose to be there. Four minutes of talking tells you things a week of messages does not: how someone listens, whether they make you laugh, whether you want to keep talking when the bell goes.
If the format sounds too structured, a singles night or a singles social is the looser version of the same idea. Poise lists both.
