Guides
Going to a singles event on your own.
Most people do. What it is like to arrive, how to start talking, and which nights make it easiest.
Yes, you can go to a singles event on your own, and most people do. Hosts expect it and plan for it: someone meets you at the door, and the night is set up so that talking to a stranger is the ordinary thing to do.
The hard part is rarely the evening. It is the ten minutes before it, standing outside and deciding whether to go in. Knowing how the night runs takes most of that away.
Poise lists singles events by city, and each listing says how the host runs the night, so you can pick one that suits you.
What is it like to arrive on your own?
You give your name at the door, and the host takes it from there. At most nights that means a name badge, a drink, and an introduction to whoever arrived just before you.
Arrive at the start. The first half hour is when everyone is new and nobody has settled into a group, so it is the easiest time to fall into conversation.
How do you start a conversation at a singles event?
Say hello and ask a plain question. How did you hear about tonight, and have you been to one of these before, both work, because everyone in the room has an answer.
You do not need a line. The reason for speaking is already in the room: you are both there to meet someone. That is what makes a singles event easier than saying hello to a stranger anywhere else.
If starting conversations is the part you find hard, the Poise app has a practice deck for it: five minute challenges about talking to strangers, which begin with one line to one person.
Which kind of night is easiest on your own?
A night with a structure. At speed dating the host seats you and starts every conversation, so you never have to walk up to anyone. At a singles social there is something to do, a quiz or a game, which gives you a reason to talk.
An open singles night in a bar asks the most of you, since who you talk to is up to you. It makes a good second night.
Is it safe to go to a singles event alone?
A singles event is held in a public venue, a bar or a restaurant or a shop, with a host present for the whole evening. You can leave whenever you like.
The usual sense applies, as it does on any night out. Tell a friend where you are going, keep your drink with you, and plan your own way home. If anyone makes you uncomfortable, tell the host, who is there for that.
Can you bring a friend?
Most hosts let you, and some sell tickets in pairs. A friend makes walking in easier.
A friend also makes it easier to spend the whole night talking to your friend. If you go together, agree beforehand to split up once you are inside.
